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Five Tips for Failing in Business

(Yvonne Russell over at Grow Your Writing Business had this great post about how to make sure other bloggers hate you by how you handle comments, and she tagged me to write a post using reverse psychology. Here it is!)

Some people can’t do anything but succeed. They have these blasted good work habits and strong ethics that keep adding money to their bank accounts and gains them respect from their customers, their peers, and their friends and family.

What do you do about people like that? They are making those who want to assure that they fail in business look bad. If you are among the elite group of business owners who want to make sure you fail in business, forget all that good stuff like ethics and good work habits.

Here are five sure fire tips to guarantee that your business will flop.

1. Make sure you don’t have enough knowledge about the business before you start it—this will be hard because it is really easy these days to learn what it will take to make your business successful. But if you try you can do it, you just have to close your eyes, your ears and your mind.
2. Work whenever you feel like it—for people who want to fail in business this tip will probably be your favorite. Don’t make any plans or work by a schedule. Just work whenever you feel the urge.
3. Don’t market your business—this one is easy. All you have to do is, well, nothing! Just set up the business you know nothing about and sit back and wait for the customer to come to you.
4. Be rude to your customers—this is a sure fire way to guarantee that your business will fail. Nobody likes to be treated badly by someone they are doing business with, so don’t be professional, just put on that bad attitude and get busy being rude!
5. Deliver defective or poor quality products or shoddy, late service—here is a tip that will do your marketing for you. They say that word of mouth is the best advertisement, so all you have to do is deliver bad merchandise or do a shoddy job and you are guaranteed that word will get around and your business will flop.
6. Don’t deliver the product or service at all—this is a simple one, just as long as you make sure to put those ethics aside. All you have to do is sell your product or service but never deliver the good or do the work. Just take the money and run!

I hope these tips have been helpful to those of you who would like to fail in business.

But just to make sure you fail, here is one last bonus tip:

Think of someone who always told you that you would never succeed. You might have a hard time with this one, for you unfortunately may have always had only positive influences in your life. But I bet if you try you can remember at least one person who didn’t believe in you. Think of what that person said everyday, reinforce that negative message, and failure can be yours.

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