I Want to Talk about Codependency
I have only now realized that I am codependent. At the age of 52, that is quite the revelation. I stumbled upon a clue–denial is a strong weapon and often necessary for survival–when my ex said something about his mother being an enabler. I wondered where he’d heard that word, he’s not into psychobabble, so it was very odd to hear that word from him. And I got to thinking that he had probably been talking to his virtual girlfriend about me. (Of course, it’s ALWAYS about me, you know?)
Anyway, I AM into psychobabble, and it only took a few steps from ENABLER to CODEPENDENT. I did some research and discovered that every description of someone who was codependent described me.
I am glad to have put a name to a feeling. Now I just have to learn, now that I am alone, how to love myself and not look to others for my identity. I have a lot more studying to do, but the main thing I have learned so far is that abandoned, abused children and children of alcoholics are famous for becoming codependent, and I was a child of all three.
Now the work begins.
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